


And I Will Be There For Him

by images_words



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Anorexia, Anxiety Attacks, Asexual Spencer Reid, Autistic Spencer Reid, Awkward Spencer Reid, Canon Autistic Character, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Insecure Reid, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not Canon Compliant, Panic Attacks, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Self-Harm, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 21:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13466553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/images_words/pseuds/images_words
Summary: Aaron Hotchner has just gotten settled in as unit chief for the BAU when a new member joins the team: Twenty-year-old Spencer Reid.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who finally decided who he ships with Reid!  
> The ages of Reid/Morgan and Reid/Rossi are over. And I think Reid/Hotch might stick around.  
> Also, this is an AU where Gideon was never there, bc tbh I don't like him. He gives me bad vibes, oops.  
> And it's also an AU where Spencer's hair always looks like it did at the beginning of season 5 bc that's my favorite and his season 1 hair was so bad.  
> And Haley never existed. Tbh I kinda hate her.

Aaron Hotchner was alone in the office.  
He'd been there all night, working on paperwork.  
So he was the only one there at 5am when the door opened and a skinny, nervous-looking kid peeked in.  
Hotch smiled lightly. "Hey, kid. Where'd you come from?"  
"M-my name is Spencer, sir, Spencer Reid... I'm... I'm supposed to be on the team now..."  
Hotch felt bad for the kid. "No need to be nervous, Agent Reid."  
"It's, um... it's Dr. Reid, actually."  
"...How old are you, Spencer?"  
"I'm twenty, sir."  
Hotch was a bit surprised. "And you're a doctor of what, exactly?"  
"I have PhDs in mathematics, chemistry and engineering, as well as BAs in psychology and sociology."  
He was stunned. "And you say you're only twenty?"  
"Yes, sir. I graduated high school when I was twelve, sir."  
"Just call me Hotch."  
"I-I'm sorry sir - Hotch. I was just trying to be respectful, I'm told that I often come off as rude so I try to be extra polite, I'm so sorry." Spencer was visibly upset now, and Hotch instantly felt bad.  
"Hey, no need to get upset. I appreciate what you were trying to do. I just don't like being referred to as 'sir,' it sounds a bit... formal, and stuffy."  
"I'm so sorry, I-I didn't mean to offend you." The poor kid was on the verge of a panic attack.  
"Hey, no. Just breathe, Spencer. You didn't know. It's okay."  
"A-are you sure?"  
He nodded. "Yep. I'm sure. Come on, let's get you set up here."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Spencer, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
Spencer looked up. "Yeah, of course."  
"Here, come into my office."  
Spencer followed Hotch into his office. The older man shut the door behind them.   
"Did I do something wrong?"  
"No, no, of course not. You haven't done anything wrong. Spencer... what made you decide to become a profiler?"  
"I've always been interested in psychology and criminology... and I wanted to help people."  
"Spencer, you're a bad liar. There's more to it than that."  
Spencer sighed. "I grew up in Las Vegas, with a deadbeat dad and a schizophrenic mother. When I was little, I found out that a boy who lived nearby had been murdered. They never caught the killer. My dad left shortly after it happened. A couple years later, a group of bullies stripped me naked and tied me to the goalpost. The whole school watched... but no one helped. I eventually managed to get down... my mother was having an episode and didn't even realize I was late. When I was 18, I had to make a decision: watch my mother suffer, or check her into a psychiatric hospital against her will. She's still in that hospital today. I have a genetic predisposition towards schizophrenia. The risk will basically be nonexistent once I'm thirty... but that leaves ten years for everything to fall apart. Ten years for me to lose everything. That's why I decided to become a profiler. To catch people who kill innocent children. To make sure no one feels as helpless as I did, tied to that goalpost. To be there for people who are faced with difficult choices, and hopefully help them make the right one. To try to get through to the unsubs who know that what they're doing is wrong, the ones with schizophrenia or multiple personalities, the ones who feel remorse, because I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind. I never want anyone to go through what I did."  
Hotch was shocked. He hadn't expected that. And he felt bad for the kid. Spencer had experienced more loss, more fear, and more pain in his twenty years than most people did in a lifetime. "I'm so sorry, Spencer."  
"Don't be. All of that... that's what shaped who I am today. And I like to think that I'm a good person."  
"You are, Spencer. You're an amazing person."  
Hotch and Spencer didn't really talk much after that, save for work purposes. But there seemed to be a sort of trust between them, an unspoken agreement that they would always have each other's backs.  
And for almost a year, they did. Constantly. It was never anything more or less than a simple promise between friends to protect each other. But it was still a promise. So Hotch couldn't help but blame himself when he learned that the one time he sent Spencer somewhere without him, the kid had been taken by the unsub. And it felt like his heart was breaking when he found Spencer, hurt and afraid and so helpless.   
That was the moment he promised himself that he would do better. He had failed Spencer once. He wouldn't do it again.  
He wondered, briefly, why he cared so much. A part of him knew that he was developing feelings for the younger man. But he refused to admit it to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it wasn't clear, the events described at the end of the last chapter refer to when Spencer was kidnapped by Tobias Hankel.

Hotch could tell that Spencer had changed.  
Of course, that was to be expected. No one comes out of being kidnapped, tortured and drugged the same as they were before. But Hotch was worried. Spencer was jumpy and irritable, more withdrawn, more sensitive. He rarely ate, and never very much. He always looked exhausted, and Hotch could tell that he hadn't been sleeping much. He finally decided that he could, at the very least, do something about that.  
"Hey, kid."  
Spencer jumped. "O-oh... Hotch. Hey."  
Hotch sat down beside him. "It's late. You should go home."  
"I don't want to."  
"You haven't been sleeping much, have you?"  
"...No," Spencer admitted.  
"Nightmares?"  
"Not really... it's more like... I don't feel safe enough to sleep. I don't even feel safe in my own home anymore, Hotch... I don't know what to do."  
"Well, where do you feel safe?"  
"Here... I feel safe when I'm here."  
"What is it about the BAU that makes you feel safe?" Hotch thought he might already know.  
"I-I guess... I guess it's because you're here. And I know... I know that as long as you're with me, you'll protect me."  
"You're right, Spencer. I will always protect you. I'm probably going to be here all night doing paperwork... do you want to try sleeping on the couch in my office? I'll be there the whole time."  
"O-okay..." Spencer smiled weakly.  
Hotch brushed a strand of hair away from the younger man's face. "You're safe with me. You will always be safe with me."  
"Promise?"  
"I promise. Now come on, let's see if we can hunt down a blanket for you."


End file.
